Pixel's Survey

This survey was created years ago by my friend Corey Marie. She's doubleplusgood.
Last updated 8 June 2014

Part 1  |  Part 2

History of the World, Part I:

1. What's yo' name, boy? Stentor Benjamin Danielson
2. Look down. Are you male or female? That's kind of a transphobic way to ask it.
3. How many years have you graced us with your presence? Graced? None, so far. Oh, wait, you just mean "how old are you." Since I'll probably forget to update this, I'll tell you I was born in August 1980 and let you calculate it from there.
4. And what year are you in school? I'm one of the teachers now.
5. Ever been held back in school? Held back ... by DANGER!
6. Ever been moved ahead a grade? You know, in Australia, they call them "Years" as in "my brother is in Year 9."
7. Would you call your hometown a big city or a small town? The town I consider my hometown now is decent sized -- 5400 people. Until Year 4 I lived in Tionesta, which had 500 (and was the biggest in the county), so my standards for comparison are screwed up.
8. Do you know the time of day you were born; what is it? I originally said I was born during "Wheel of Fortune," which prompted my mom to tell me I was actually born at 9 a.m. But I know somebody in our family was born during "Wheel of Fortune."
9. Has your mother ever told you how difficult/easy your labor was? We tactfully avoid such subjects.
10. Was it difficult or easy? Come to think of it, she has mentioned I was a big baby.
11. Do you have sisters or brothers? Two younger brothers, one younger sister, and one doll-sibling (Bert).
12. Any pets? I want a rabbit. Currently I have a cat who likes to lick my head.

Who's Got The Look? Not me. Oh wait, that's just a subheading, not an actual question. How silly of me.

13. Do you consider yourself attractive? Not really, but I will admit that as a heterosexual it's a bit hard for me to judge.
14. Are you tall/average/short? I'm average. Everyone else who's not in the NBA is just really really short.
15. If you could change one attribute of your physical looks, what would it be? I want to be able to change colors like a chameleon -- no sense wasting this magic looks-change power on something silly like the shape of my nose.
16. Ever dyed or highlighted your hair? No, but one time I had to be Hitler for a school project and I drew the little moustache on with a permanent marker.
17. Ever dyed or highlighted your hair in a non-natural color? It used to be white -- #ffffff white, for those who speak hexidecimal -- then it changed to a sort of cruddy dark blond on its own. In 2006 the Arizona Motor Vehicle Division officially declared my hair to be brown.
18. Ever dyed or highlighted your hair with markers, Kool-Aid, etc.? No.
19. Which finger is your favorite? Not my right index finger, which seems to have suffered permanent nerve damage from X-Acto knife use.
20. And which of your body parts is your favorite? My Thymus. It aids in the development of lymphocytes necessary to protect the young from disease.
21. Sicko. Sickas, Sicka, Sickamos, Sickan.
22. Would you get plastic surgery? Well, if my plastic really was in danger of losing its life, then yes, I would get surgery for it.
23. Would you if someone else paid for it? Ooh! Free surgery!
24. Are you happy with the way you look? My wife seems to be happy with it, which is probably more important, since she has to look at me more than I have to look at me.
25. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses. I can't stand the thought of sticking things into my eyes. Maybe I can ditch the glasses once I master this echolocation thing. Eeek, eek, eek...

Now That's Good Eatin':

26. What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten? Vegemite. I can sort of see how it could grow on you if you were raised with it, but it's all salty and stuff.
27. Why did you eat it? I was in Australia. It seemed like the thing to do.
28. Do you eat breakfast? Granola or Honey Nut Cheerios with rice milk.
29. Do you eat your vegetables? The other day I made a stir fry with green peppers, onions, and mushrooms, which a few years ago I would have listed as my least favorite vegetables. Oh how my tastes have shifted.
30. Willingly? Yup.
31. Even Broccoli? I crave broccoli sometimes.
32. Without Melted Cheese on it? Someone's going to be sitting at the table for a long time until she finishes her dinner.
33. What's your favorite food? Blueberries. If I could afford it, I'd go on an all-blueberry diet.
34. What's your favorite soft drink? "Soft drink" in the American sense (non-alcoholic): Cran-blueberry juice. "Soft drink" in the Aussie sense (soda): Welch's grape soda.
35. Do you refer to soft drinks as pop? I used to, because I used to live in western PA. I have since been cured (and plan to stick to it despite moving back to western PA). But I still pronounce "creek" as "crick."
36. Do you drink milk? I drink rice milk, since rice seems to object to the milking process less than cows.
37. Did you know that in Spanish milk ads, the new popular slogan "Got Milk?" translates to "Are you lactating?" I think that should be their slogan in English-speaking countries, too.
38. What's your favorite kind of salad dressing? French. I can just eat it straight out of the bottle.
39. Do you prefer bacon bits or croutons? Croutons, even back when I was an omnivore.
40. Do you have any idea how much fat and cholesterol are in bacon bits? Do you have any idea how little I care?
41. What's your favorite cereal? Cap'n Crunch, with Crunchberries, or maybe Apple Jacks.
42. Do you buy it for the toy at the bottom? No. Not that I ever got the toy (darn siblings...).
43. What is your favorite lunchmeat? Facon.
44. Do you pack your lunch, eat fast food, or eat some sort of cafeteria garbage? PB&J every day.
45. Could you be a vegetarian? I was a social carnivore (only eat meat around other people) for about three years, then went pretty much totally vegetarian in late 2004, and vegan in 2009 (though it was a gradual process).
46. Have you ever tried being vegetarian; For how long? See above.

Morals and Ethics and Carnal Forbearance:

47. Do you think you're capable of murder? Not at all.
48. Are you for the death penalty? I might be for the death penalty if there was any evidence that it lowered crime rates more than life without parole.
49. Have you ever been arrested? No. But it's only a matter of time -- I never read the safety card in the seat pocket in front of me, or listen to the flight attendants as they describe the safety features of this aircraft.
50. Do you always wear a seat belt? Yes. Even when riding in the bed of a pickup truck.
51. Have you driven over the speed limit? Twice.
52. Gotten caught speeding? Both times.
53. Do you touch yourself -- you know, in that no-no spot? What no-no spot? You mean my chin? I'm touching my chin right now.
54. Ever been caught? Well, I just told the whole online world about it. Isn't that enough?
55. Are you Catholic? I'm a Unitarian.
56. Do you believe in God or some sort of Greater Power? Nope.
57. Do you pray? It seems kind of wrong to ask God for special favors, but I can understand the therapeutic value of talking out your concerns.
58. Have you ever shoplifted; what did you take? I accidentally stole a pen from work.
59. Did/do you cheat on homework in high school? I tried to use a calculator for my long division homework in Year 6, but we had to show our work, so it didn't work out so well.
60. Did/do you call it "collective learning?" No, we called it cheating.
61. Ever black mailed someone? How much is it worth to you to keep that little question a secret?
62. Have you ever toilet papered/egged/etc. someone's house? I have dedicated my life to spreading the doctrine of corning. But I never actually went corning. I just took it up as a quest when I found out other people had never heard of it.
63. Was it on Devil's Night? Devil's Night? What's that? Must be some kind of weird Michigan thing. That's what I get for using pixel's survey.
64. Whose house was it? We corned my friend Dan's room while Matt distracted him with a chess tournament.
65. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Second-hand. Yeechh.
66. Ever smoked pot? No.
67. Ever done any other drugs? Let's see -- Triaminic, Sudafed, Tylenol, a little novocain one time at the dentist...
68. Have you ever drank alcohol? Occasionally.
69. Enough to be drunk? No.
70. On more than one occasion? Often enough that I can no longer ennumerate the specific occasions, but not much more than that.
71. Ever drank alone? That seems pointless.
72. Any funny "I was drunk off my butt and did this" stories? I find that ending a story with "and we were all sober" makes it that much more effective.
73. Ever seen a stripper? Yes, but she was off duty, so I never saw any stripping.
74. Ever gave some one a strip tease? Is that a request?
75. Are you a virgin? I like my old answer, although it's not really accurate now: In the baseball metaphor (first base, second base, etc.), I got cut from Little League during spring training.

It's the Media, Baby!

76. If they made a movie about you, who would play you? The pre-2000 Al Gore. He doesn't really look like me, but he's got the personality down.
77. If you wrote your autobiography, what would be the title? Boy, Did You Just Waste $6.99 ($7.99 Canadian).
78. What TV show or movie best describes your life? The Weather Channel.
79. What's your favorite movie? Snakes on a Plane.
80. Who did you see it with? Christina L. Motherf*** Powers.
81. How much TV do you watch a week? None on the TV, but I am getting Babylon 5 from Netflix.
82. Do you like to read? Yup.
83. What's the best book you've ever read? Dreamblood by N.K. Jemisin, or The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever by Stephen R. Donaldson.
84. TV Guide doesn't count. That's an old joke, pixel. I tell you, Michigan is just a cultural backwater...
85. Have you ever met anyone famous? My uncle won the national championship in Sören Erikson's Game of Logging one year.
86. Would you like to be famous? I'd like to do something significant with my life, and fame may be a by-product of that. But not just for fame's sake, no.
87. Have you ever been on radio or television; When and why? I originally said "Dave always makes fun of my name on his radio show ("Sten-man ... the Stentonator ... Sten-o-rama ... makin' copies ..."), does that count?" Then after I wrote that snippy retort, I spent a semester as a late-night DJ on WRCU.
88. Do you read the newspaper? I make the newspaper ("made," now).
89. More than the comics? The comics don't interest me that much now that Calvin and Hobbes and Far Side are gone.
90. What's your favorite comic strip? I don't read strips very often. But Kate Beaton and Dinosaur Comics rock my world in a very real and legally binding sense.
91. Do you save articles/honor rolls/announcements when you're in them? I'm never in them anymore.
92. Does your mother save them for you? She used to.
93. Do you listen to the radio? Sadly, I have started listening to NPR.
94. Ever wanted to be a radio DJ? Dave tried to talk me into it, but at the time my musical tastes were too normal and limited. My horizons have since broadened. That eventually led to what you read in question #87.
95. Ever been told you have a face for radio? My brother has tried to smash my face into the radio.
96. What's your favorite song? Currently I keep listening to "Njoka," by Mokoomba, and "Synti," by Värttinä.
97. What types of music do you listen to? They Might Be Giants, Värttinä, the Whitlams, Dave Brubeck, Horace Silver, Splashdown ... you get the idea.
98. Ever listen (even occasionally) to country music? I have a policy of letting the person driving the car pick the music, which meant I heard enough country to last a lifetime going to and from work in the summer of 2003.
99. Ever listen (even occasionally) to rap? Increasingly, yes.
100. Why? I listen to what I like.
101. Have you ever been to a live concert; who did you see? Lots. Favorites include Rodrigo y Gabriela, Grand Buffet, Värttinä, Woods Tea Co., Gogol Bordello, Dufus, and They Might Be Giants.
102. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Heck no.
103. What band has the funniest name? Quankmayer Færgoalzia. "Hey, where did you get your name?" "I drew a picture of myself and labeled it 'Quankmayer Færgoalzia', so I decided that's what I'd name my band."

Part 1  |  Part 2

Back to

All material © 2000-2014 by Eemeet Meeker Online Enterprises, to the extent that slapping up a copyright notice constitutes actual copyright protection.